Radio Daze, Part 1

Was it this bad?  No, not initially.

This past week some friends let me join a new group – The WQBR Old Folks Home.  It’s a Facebook group, apropos for this bunch, as it’s a mötley (crüe) collection of former Eastern Michigan University students who used to “…work (or at least hang out) at WQBR Radio…” 

That’s me in spades, as I spent more time there than most.  I was there three times – from 1971 to 1973 (when I dropped out of college entirely), then 78-9 (when I finished my degree…finally), and then again from 1982-4 (when it seemed I just couldn’t get enough of dear old EMU).  Each time I enjoyed my time there, learning (of course) but perhaps more importantly, smoking dope the camaraderie that existed among all the staff.  And of course, all that camaraderie means I have stories to tell.  Here’s the first, and it involves “the couch.”

No, not what happened on it.  We all know that.  Even first semester students got wind of the couch’s “unique characteristics.”  You’d know they knew when you invited them into the office area and asked them to sit, pointing at the couch, and they’d look at you and say, “No thanks, I’m good.”  No, this is about how we got the couch in the first place.  In fact, it’s how we got ALL the initial batch of furniture.

When I came back in 1978, WEMU has just left 129 Quirk for King Hall, leaving the former studios for the newly-christened WQBR (it was WHUR initially).  Some of the offices were taken by broadcasting faculty, leaving the 3 studios for WQBR.  The main studio (with a board as old as Marconi’s mother) remained, the production studio was empty (we wouldn’t get a real production area until 1983 when a new board replaced Marconi’s mom, which moved to production), and the large open “live” studio was to be our office area.

Except we had no furniture at all, except for a very large (awkward) table.  That was it.

Buying furniture was out of the question (we had zero budget).  I asked Admin about getting some desks and chairs from Surplus, and was told that requisitions would take “a while.”  No offer to help (or to speed up the process) was forthcoming, so I called the EMU Physical Plant myself, and found that without a faculty advisor’s signature, there was nothing they could do.  I asked them what type of furniture was available, and they told me that all sorts of things would be on hand, usually.  “In fact, we’re starting to collect a whole bunch of items right now from Downing Hall.”

Oh, really?

There’s an old saying that, as long as you LOOK like you know what you’re doing, no one will question you.  It seemed simple to me – if we followed the standard routine, the Physical Plant would take furniture out of Downing Hall, drag it to the Warehouse, wait for our requisition, then drag it back to Quirk Hall.  Or, we could take a shortcut and eliminate the middle.

So we took a few burly DJs over to Downing (did you laugh there?  I certainly did) and we started picking out furniture.  We found chairs, desks, and the infamous couch out in the halls, properly tagged for surplus…and all for the taking.  Best of all, we were there only about a half-hour, and no one said a word.  Well, that’s not true.  One RA saw what we were doing and said, “Hey, what’s going on?”  I quickly grabbed some papers from my back pocket and replied, “It’s OK, I’ve got paperwork.” He waved us on (couch and all).

By the way, I have NO idea whose inspired creative thinking caused us to grab the couch.  I should tell you that it’s a tradition I continued when I started up KEDM in Monroe, LA (and yes, it was a used couch – tradition!). 

Once we got all of the furniture back to Quirk and set up, it made for a very nice office area.  Certainly the students were pleased, but Admin…well, only once did someone ask me about it, wondering out loud if they really wanted to know how we got it and/or where it came from. 

Probably not.  Especially the couch.

Enablers in a Bubble

It was a week ago that Americans went to the polls, and later that evening discovered that one of the most shocking results in history had occurred – Donald Trump was elected President of the United States.  During the last seven days much has been discussed as to how (and why) this happened, but most of us can agree that:

• Trump won the southern states as expected
• Hillary Clinton won the east and west coasts, as expected, and
• Trump was able to pull out enough wins in so-called “swing states” to gain an Electoral College victory.  Some of these wins were of razor-thin margins where neither candidate received a majority of votes (Wisconsin, Pennsylvania…and Michigan has yet to declare as of this writing).
• Despite an Electoral College win (currently 289-232 with Michigan’s 16 votes still outstanding), Trump had fewer overall votes than Clinton.  As of today, he trails by about 760,000 votes (according to CBS).  Other reports show her lead to be almost a million.

Nevertheless, Donald Trump won the race.

In an election year where the word “strange” was used perhaps more often than ever before, it seems we still need to use it to describe the aftermath.  For several days thousands have taken to the streets to protest Trump’s victory (and let me state for the record that I am 100% supportive of the PEACEFUL protests, which the majority has been – violence against people or property is not condoned).  But for an equal amount of time the other side has ALSO protested (and been violent against property and people).  And they were the victors.

Gracious winners my ass.

Trump becoming President-elect has emboldened some to ratchet up their racial taunts.  Reports of women in hijabs being endangered, Latino schoolkids threatened by their teacher with deportation of their parents.  And the woman lucky enough to grab a selfie with Hillary Clinton the day after the election (whose selfie went viral)?  Death threats.

Wait, what’s that?  My last bullet point is in error?  Trump actually won the popular vote, too?

Yes, because Trump likes to win and win bigly, it’s apparently not enough to just win the Electoral vote.  The constant barrage of fake news and outright bullshit reposted infinity times by bubble-residing conservatives re-awoke to declare that yes, TRUMP WON THE POPULAR VOTE TOO SO QUIT PROTESTING and just shut up shut up SHUT UP.

Some of this crap (even calling it fake news gives it more credence than it deserves) declared that while she might win the votes “counted” she would not win the votes “cast” (something about not counting all absentee ballots, which is false).   Some posts used terms like “crushed” and “landslide” noting that many votes for Clinton came from NY and California (as if these two states were no longer part of the union).  Some sites just flat out had the numbers wrong (so put away that stupid Electoral College petition).  This last one bragged that they got the results from “Twitter posts.”  How journalistic of them (they reported Trump 62,972,226; Clinton 62,277,750, BTW).

Of course, when all else fails:

• blame someone else (CNN),
• move the goalposts (calling the votes cast for all of the candidates for House of Representatives as the true “popular vote”), or
• claim that three million illegal immigrants voted (and most for Clinton, of course).

Anything to keep that meme resonating in supporters heads, I guess.

And there’s the attempt to discredit the nightly anti-Trump protests, because we’re all supposed to come together and support the President-elect just like Republicans did for Obama in 2008 and 2012.  Kumbaya and all that.

Protesters are being bused in from out of state.  They’re being incited by the media.  They’re being paid for by George Soros.  And the very idea of protesting a President-elect just because your side lost is, of course, so un-American (oh, wait – these pix are from 2008).

That Kumbaya-coming together moment you want?  Not.  Gonna.  Happen.  For once and for all - Trump won the election, Clinton got more votes.  But you can't use terms like "crushing" or "landslide" or "mandate" when more people voted for the other candidate.  Some folks are upset about the results.  Many more are upset for what it about to happen.

And here’s the sad thing – when it does happen, you won’t believe THAT, either.  The bubble seems to be impenetrable.  Believe what you want at your own peril.

Rolling out the welcome mat for the new President-elect...in 2008

Remember this, too?  Good times.

What Can I Get for, oh…$25 Million?

"Someday, and that day may never come, I will call upon you to do a service for me."

As you may know, Sheldon Adelson finally backed a winner in Donald Trump, putting somewhere near $25 million (or more) into his campaign.  And as you also might know, rich donors usually expect something for their largess.  Don’t take my word for it – the President-elect said so himself earlier this year about his own contributions:

“When you give, they do whatever the hell you want them to do.”

Face it; $25 million should get you something more than just double bonus miles. 

So one can expect that Adelson will want something in return – the questions are what and how much?  The “what” is easy – his top three issues (in my opinion) would be

• Israel – keeping US support strong
• Marijuana – making it illegal (he’s been a strong opponent of medical marijuana regulation in Florida)
• Online Gambling – ditto.

The “how much” pertains to whether he can get all three of his wishes granted.  The first one is a slam-dunk, as I can’t see the next Administration doing any less for Israel that is being done now.  So that’s one. 

The other two are the focus of my thought-experiment here.  There are plenty of similarities – both marijuana and online gambling are considered “vices” that are usually handled in by the states.  There are also legal issues unique to each that have surprising parallels.

Since Tuesday, there have been countless conversations asking pretty much the same thing:  “what does the election of Donald Trump mean to my industry?”  Online gambling has been one of them, with two recent op-eds in OnlinePokerReport and PokerNewsDaily painting a dire picture.  The marijuana industry has also taken note that despite the recent progress at the ballot box, it too may face radical changes.  See here, here, here and here.  California, Nevada and Massachusetts approved measures legalizing the recreational use of marijuana, while Florida, Arkansas and North Dakota voted to allow pot for medical purposes.  Currently there are eight states where recreational pot is legal, and 29 states and DC where some form of medical marijuana is allowed.

Trump has been on record that he thinks marijuana should be a state issue.  He’s also a former casino owner, so he obviously thinks gambling is OK, but his views of online gambling are less known.  And as Adelson proves, one can be pro-gambling yet anti-online-gambling.

In both gambling and dope, it’s not so much Trump position, as those who he would have in his cabinet, as advisors, and those currently in the GOP-controlled Congress.  Think Chris Christie and Rudy Giuliani.  And Sheldon.

Marijuana is still considered a Schedule 1 drug, and federally, it’s illegal.  Because it is, banking issues are the norm for marijuana distributors – it’s a “cash only” business, and they cannot take certain tax breaks available to regular businesses.

Yet marijuana has been a cash cow for states where it’s legal, shoring up revenue streams due to the inability to raise taxes on constituents.  Recent research shows that legalizing marijuana has actually decreased crime (kinda like “consumer protection,” eh?).

Does that last paragraph sound familiar to online gaming proponents?  Darn right it does.

Now the good news (for the marijuana industry) is that many in the industry think their position is pretty good to OK (few say “safe”).  With recent wins at the ballot box, nearly 1 in every 5 Americans lives in a state where some form of legalized marijuana.  Online gaming wishes it had those numbers.  So the only question I have is whether Sheldon gets one or two more wishes from the magic lantern.  If he’s greedy, he’ll try to get everything he can. 

Crap…I think we know how that’s gonna end up. 

Our only hope is our continued vigilance, and perhaps the hope that recreational and medical marijuana can continue to exist as states’ rights issues (and can continue to exist).  In that case, online gaming has a chance, too.  Otherwise, we’re in for a really bad beat.

Not Five Days Later…

As shocked as the rest of us

I wanted to avoid discussing Election Night the day after, and was lucky that we had some medical appointments in Portland on Wednesday so that I was away from the computer (and the news) almost all day.  Initially, I was fairly sanguine about the election results.  I can afford to be – I am a middle-class, older male with less than a year left to retirement.  If any of those attributes were different, I might be less sanguine.  If ALL of them were, definitely so.  Once I got home and read some of what others were saying, I made a vow to wait until five days had passed in order to have a clear head and a clean idea what, exactly, happens from here on.

Fuck that.

I read lots of after-election analysis.  Certainly, the Trump fans were happy.  Gleeful.  Ecstatic.  And why not – they have the House, the Senate, POTUS, and many state legislatures and governorships.  Life is good (for them) and we can expect a HARD turn to the right for the next two/four years.

Dems were sad.  Shocked.  Angry.  Apoplectic, even.  About that anger – it’s OK, IF we channel that anger to work hard and to fight for the things we all care about.  Another direction to channel that anger is to get people to realize the importance of voting and in educating themselves about the issues.

And that’s why I decided to end my five day sabbatical four days early.  It was clear to me in talking with people that there were many more “undecideds” this year than in the past.  I figured that, with apathy (and downright disgust) towards both major candidates, more people would have a hard time choosing.  I figured than one reason Clinton failed to gain the Electoral College majority was because of this, in the form of the new accidental Ralph Nader (Libertarian Gary Johnson).  Mathematically, I’m right, but that’s not the answer.

Paul Harris had it first:

Raw numbers to remember: Obama got 65.9 million votes in 2012 while Romney got 60.9 million. As of 11am today (Wednesday), Clinton has 59.3 million, Trump has 59.1 million. Bottom line: Democrats and Obama supporters didn't show up and vote for her, to the tune of 6.6 million missed opportunities.

Here in Oregon we saw about 75% voter participation.  That’s sounds pretty good, but frankly, that’s shit considering we have vote-by-mail.  EVERYONE who is an eligible voter gets a ballot – all they have to do is fill it out and send it by mail (or drop it off at an election ballot drop site).  No lines, no waiting, no muss or fuss.  And yet 25% of those who could vote, did not.

And that’s the other thing – there were many who could not vote because they weren’t registered.  Nationally, it was reported that almost HALF of Americans eligible to vote (more than 90 million) never cast a ballot.  If you want to be angry about something, be angry about that.  And it you didn’t vote, you have no right to be angry about anything.

So apathy about taking action is one thing.  But “apathy” about being informed is a whole ‘nother kettle of fish.  This election showed that “Truthiness” no longer matters.  Say whatever you want.  Facts be damned.  Fake news sites on social media like Facebook and Twitter were given the same “consideration” (I laughed when I wrote that) as NBC, Fox News, AP, and Reuters.  Maybe more so, because they pushed the “National Enquirer”-type headlines that seems to eventually resonate into the MSM when reporting on the candidates, always with the “people are saying…” lead-in as if that was the gold standard of reporting.

No wonder people want to know how to block political posts on Facebook.

Oh, one more thing – Trump called for “draining the swamp,” yet, as always, incumbents ruled the day (as always, 90% of incumbents were reelected).  In fact, many of those who pulled the level for Trump helped sent those incumbents back.  Incumbents like Little Marco Rubio.  And Ted Cruz.  And many other Republicans who failed to “heartily endorse” Trump.  Plus Debbie Wasserman Schultz.

That’s gonna be awkward. Top of Form

So how can we wake people up to (a) pay attention and (b) do something about it?

Well, let me make some post-election predictions first:

• James Comey’s job at the FBI is safe for now.
• The ACA is DOA.  Its replacement?  Don’t hold your breath.  As many as 20 million people may lose their insurance.  I wonder how many of these 20 million are part of the 90 million who didn’t vote.
• There will be no more Benghazi hearings, nor hearings on the Clinton Foundation or Orgy Island or whatever else drops in the next little while.  No need – “Mission Accomplished,” if you get my drift.  The GOP has more pressing issues – they already got what they wanted out of this one.
• Meanwhile, the Clintons will continue their foundation and their good works on the global stage, and not many will notice except the ones they assist.
• Based on his own speeches, tweets, and postings, Trump has made a LOT of “first day” promises, and plenty more for his first 100 days.  It’s anybody’s guess whether he’ll be able to keep them all (hint: no). 
• However, the promises he will keep will be the ones that will cause the most damage.  Don’t take my word for it.

And that’s probably how people will have their eyes opened.  Not by words alone, but with action.  Things are going to shift hard right, for sure, but I believe they’re headed south as well.  When things get bad enough, will the people finally pay attention?

As for me, I plan on giving Trump the same level of support the GOP gave Obama for eight straight years.  Good luck!

Trump Sucks, but he’s no Hoover

One of these things is not like the other ones...

Last week I did a political post and claimed it as my last one…so consider this one more of a history lesson, although it does involve politics.  Political history…yeah, that’s it.  And you CAN learn from it.

I’ve seen a couple of Presidential political posts this week where, rather than asking for comments about one’s opponent, the posters requested that commenters say why they support their candidate WITHOUT making any comments or comparisons to the other candidate.  Needless to say, for many this was a challenge (in that they could not resist making some or all of their post the usual “your candidate sucks because…” comment).  I was able to provide seven reasons why I was voting for Hillary, and it took a while for someone to finally post a legit comment about why he was supporting Trump.  Basically, he liked the fact that Trump was an outsider “with no previous political experience whatsoever.”

Of course, that’s one reason I could never support Trump.  This is the most important political position in the land, and while many newcomers are elected dog catcher, school board rep, city councilman, assemblyperson, state representative, even Senator – who could even conceive that a beginner could start at the top?  This eventually came up in the discussion – we HAVE elected individuals who have never held political office prior to becoming President.

Sort of.  In the last century, the newbies Eisenhower and Hoover ascended to the highest office in the land, but their paths (and outcomes) are very, very, very different than the one currently under construction by Donald Trump.

Take Eisenhower.  I like Ike, and many others did, too.  Prior to running for President in 1952, he HAD been a President – of Columbia University.  Prior to that, he dabbled a bit in the military.  No bone spurs for him.  Of course, he was five-star general, Supreme Commander of the Allied Forces, and later, of NATO.  He was Army Chief of Staff under President Truman…so while he never held ELECTIVE political office, he was more than aware of and experienced with the ways and means of government.

His prior experience made him one of the most-liked two term Presidents of the past century.  I’ve never understood why Republicans don’t mention Ike in god-like tones like they do Ronald Reagan (who was governor of California before becoming President, BTW).  Ike was strong on infrastructure (National Highways), social and racial reform (military and education – see “Little Rock”) and balanced budgets and higher tax rates (the top marginal rate fell during his administration from 92 to…91 percent).

OK, maybe that’s why he’s not discussed in the same breath as Reagan.  Too bad.

As for Herbert Hoover…he had an Oregon upbringing (born in Iowa, he moved here early in life, and his childhood home is in Newberg, about a 2-hour drive from my house).  So I should be somewhat favorable to him.  So should you – while he made a bundle in the mining industry, he was also quite the philanthropist.  During World War I he organized relief efforts for Americans stuck in Europe, then for Europeans. After the war he was head of the US Food Administration, and continued with post-war relief.  He later became Secretary of Commerce under Harding and Coolidge. So, like Eisenhower, he had PLENTY of experience within the government that he eventually became ran as President.

Trump has no military experience, no involvement with government at all, yet many believe him qualified for what many call the hardest job in the world.  History would suggest his lack of preparation invalidates his claim to qualification.

But that’s not the history lesson.  No, the lesson is this: We all know Hoover was in charge when the American economy fell into the Great Depression.  Hoover made attempts to rescue the economy, but these efforts fell flat, and the Depression worsened.  Some economists argue that his interventions made it worse.  No matter – he was soundly defeated for reelection in 1932 in what many recall as a landslide.

An Electoral College landslide, yes.  But Hoover, despite everything, managed to capture 40% of the popular vote.  That’s right – despite a 25% unemployment rate, a complete halt to construction, bank failures, bankruptcies, and the disastrous Smoot-Hawley Tariff Act (which worsened the already miserable foreign trade situation, but really, I just wanted to be able to say “Smoot-Hawley” in this blog) – 40% of American voters pulled the handle for the Republican.  No matter what the reality.

Just like now.  And that’s your history lesson.

OK, I voted, so STFU

Honest - each doll comes with a
"Warning: Choking Hazard" notice 

If you’re like me, you think this election has already gone on wayyyyy too long.  I might be old, but my memory is still pretty good, and yeah, this is the worst I’ve ever experienced.  With about a week to go, I can see light at the end of the tunnel.  My Oregon mail-in ballot has arrived, and I’m just about finished with it – and then I am officially ignoring every damn commercial, phone call, and Internet post that has ANYTHING to do with politics until November 9^th.

My wife and I have been reading the state’s voter pamphlet, plus all of the stuff we’ve received in the mail.  Since we don’t have a TV we’ve been spared most of the ads (we see a few online, but many politicians and political groups still have yet to fully embrace alternative entertainment venues like Hulu).  All the phone calls have been robo calls, and we automatically hang up on those as a rule, even during non-political times.  We believe that a “well informed citizen” is vital to the political process, so we are trying to avail ourselves to as much unadulterated information on policies, impacts, and the like.

Politics and politicians are always a bit dirty, and the higher the stakes, the more dirt there is.  Political ads (and the politicians themselves) can range from insipid to downright misleading.  We’ve always known to take anything political with a grain (or two) of salt, which is why we spend the time doing our own research on the issues and the candidates.

Sure, we tend to focus mostly on topics that affect us (health care, Social Security, the environment, and the economy).  We know that every candidate has flaws, and doesn’t always represent our views on everything.  Heck, the two of us don’t always agree, so sometimes we split a vote on a candidate or an issue.  But we do discuss it, and make what we consider to be informed choices.  It’s not perfect, but we choose what we feel is the best option, even if it looks like all options are less than optimal (OK, they all suck).

But as far as information is concerned (and I am being generous with that term), it’s not the stuff coming from the candidates that pisses me off the most.  Rather, it’s the crap that gets posted, reposted, shared and tweeted by the so-called “citizens” that are supporters of the candidates.  There is never a discussion of policies.  There is ALWAYS character assassination, outright falsehoods, and posting of crap (much of it made up and having nothing to do with the qualifications of the candidate).  So much so that it has been, in a word, revolting (I wanted to say deplorable so badly…). 

And the focus is almost ENTIRELY on one race.  The Presidency.

I’ve seen very little on any Congressional race.  You know, the same Congress that currently has a NINE PERCENT approval rating.  The same Congress, that, barring some miracle, will come back largely intact, ready to shovel the same shit on our political process for another 2-4 years, no matter who becomes President.

No wonder I can’t wait until November 9^th.

Can social media play a role in elections?  Yes.  Is it doing a good job of it, in that the information presented helps voters make informed decisions?  Not a chance.

I rarely post on Facebook anyway, and have made maybe one or two politically-based posts (back in the Bernie Sanders is a viable candidate era).  I am more likely to respond to others’ posts, especially when they contain falsehoods.  On both sides, believe it or not, but yeah, I have to admit, it’s the stuff that comes from my conservative friends, and it’s mostly Clinton-based posts.

In the last month, I think Hillary has been accused of pretty much everything.  I’ve seen repeats of so many “charges” that have been debunked and shown to be nothing more than a pipe-dream from Alex “I-never-met-a-conspiracy-I-didn’t-like” Jones.  I saw the Vince Foster/Antonin Scalia murder scheme memes.  I saw more about emails than AOL.  Of course, this past Friday’s non-news made some folks downright giddy, if not apoplectic.  By Monday, when it turns out to be no more than the Guinness Book of World Records Nothingburger, they’ll move on to yet another outlandish anti-Clinton meme.  It’s been going on for 30+ years, so it’s not going to end anytime soon.

That’s another problem – when their falsehoods get called out, they never defend them (in the actual “here are the facts” sense).  No links, no facts – they just change the subject.  Sometimes they’ll toss in some name calling (libtards, idiots, etc.) just for effect.  Then they’ll post another falsie (with no proof), and I’ll respond with more of those pesky debunking facts.  No direct response, but more name calling and change the subject (or modify it so that it seems like they’re being reasonable and you’re full of it and so wrong, wrong, WRONG).  Lather, rinse, repeat.

It was so bad this weekend that two responses to my comments on political posts said the same thing, “Well, Trump never lies…”  Seriously.  Not “Trump lies less than Hillary,” or “At least Trump’s lies didn’t get anyone killed,” (oh, wait, that was BILL Clinton that this was said about), but “Trump never lies.”  Never.  Not once.  No deceit Don.  A paragon of virtue.  Seriously.  I gave them a chance to back it up or back off, perhaps take one of the lesser responses I listed above. 

Nope.  Called me a libtard, idiot, sheeple, brain-dead, and then they posted some other falsehood.  Lather, rinse, repeat.

Thomas Jefferson said a great deal about how an educated society is vital to having a functional democracy.  One quote (or many) that stands out was

"I know no safe depositary of the ultimate powers of the society but the people themselves; and if we think them not enlightened enough to exercise their control with a wholesome discretion, the remedy is not to take it from them, but to inform their discretion by education. This is the true corrective of abuses of constitutional power."

It should be obvious that Jefferson never had a Facebook or Twitter account.

EAT AND GET THE HELL OUT

Hey, I’m back!  The long ice cream/tourist season is over…and the word is…GOOD.  And that’s how I would describe this year - good.  But not great, and not terribly crazy, either.  The last couple of years were hot, hot, hot; both in Seaside and the Portland metro area.  By that I mean the weather – lots of 90° days mean folks flock to the beach (and to the store).  This year was not so hot and frankly, ice cream and tourism are both weather-dependent.  Sure, people come to Seaside no matter what’s going on outdoors, and some folks eat ice cream every darn day, but weather has its effect both on how many come to town, and what they do once they get here.  As a result, we had a very good year, but not quite to the extent of 2014 and 2015.  The ending was a bit abrupt, but we ran out of ice cream faster than anticipated.  That’s a GOOD problem to have.

So for the last week or so we’ve been cleaning up and catching up.  Working during the summer months is pretty much 24/7.  It’s work, work, work, and there’s no time to get the car maintained, get a haircut, etc.  So that’s what we’ve been doing, and, as we’ve been busy running all these errands, we’ve been eating out a bunch.  We never do this in summer either, and as a result of all this eating out, I’ve noticed a disturbing trend.

More and more eateries are moving to what I refer to as an “eat and get the hell out” ambiance.  Now, the picture here is of an infamous spot on North Carolina’s Outer Banks, and Bob’s Grill mostly plays the theme for fun (like Dick’s Bar makes fun of being a dick…sort of).  What I’m talking about is a deliberate, but inconspicuous attempt to make diners feel uncomfortable while eating, and making their stay short (and profitable, I assume, as the restaurant must be looking for a fast churn).  Though it seems bass-ackwards to me.  Let me explain.

We all know about fast food joints making their plastic chairs uncomfortable to sit in so that you’ll order, eat, and leave (and maybe next time just take it to go, leaving more room for other customers).  But the things I’ve seen of late boggle the mind because they seem so counter-productive (no pun intended).

For example, the infamous salad and soup buffet house Sweet Tomatoes used to play classical music in their restaurants.  This was appropriate and refreshing (and about the only place I’ve EVER heard classical music beyond some hippie joint tuned in to NPR).  Now, the corporate heads have decided that today’s modern/loud/pop music is just the thing lunch customers want to hear.  Loudly.  Sadly, this trend pops up (pun intended) at most chain stores.  No matter what the target market, all the music is geared to 20-somethings or less, and at a volume that makes dinner conversation a lost art because no one can hear it.  I SAID IT’S PLAYED AT A VOLUME THAT MAKES DINNER CONVERSATION A LOST ART BECAU…never mind.

Like I said, this is done DESPITE the target market.  Now I am guessing on some of this, but for the years we’ve been going to lunch at Sweet Tomatoes, the bulk of the crowd is 50+.  Yes, there are some working stiffs (again, older ones), and a few families with small kids, but it’s the era of music from the 70s, 80s, or maybe the 90s; certainly not that of today’s modern swill (don’t start me – I was in radio for 20+ years and know swill when I hear it).  Worse – go to “senior time” at Sweet Tomatoes, when damn near EVERYONE is 60+, and the music doesn’t change, nor does it get any quieter. 

Last night we went to a new brew pub that was supposed to be “upscale” (in an upscale town with a pricey menu).  To our shock, there were no waitstaff – you ordered at the front, and they brought it to you.  There were TVs on with the game, but as for any other ambiance…nada.  There might have been one picture in the lobby, but you couldn’t see the brewery, and the décor was wood benches and tables and walls and windows…and that’s it.  Did I mention the pricey menu?  Yes, the food and beer was good (not great), but I was still hungry when we got home.  And because there was no waitstaff (just “bussers” to clear our empty plates), dessert was never considered (can’t linger too long to watch the game, I guess).  We might have wanted another pint.  Or stick around to visit with the other couple we went with (who we haven’t seen in a couple of years and lives 10 hours from here).  Nope, we felt rushed, so we left.  I’d say, “it’s their loss,” except they already extracted a goodly sum from us.

Now remember, I own an eatery.  Our ice cream parlor is quite small (seats 14) so when we get busy in the summer I am aware and sensitive to the “there’s no place to eat” problem.  We are fortunate to have a patio (no seats, though) where customers like to go out in the summer to “hang” and eat their treats.  Still, there are always times when tables are full and there’s a couple/family/group who have already finished and yet they tarry a bit…and a bit longer…and longer…and it gets to the point where you want to find a nice way to say, “eat and get the hell out.”

But in all of the situations I described above, this isn’t the case.  There are PLENTY of seats to choose from.  Overcrowding is NOT a problem and utilizing an “eat and get the hell out” strategy seems downright dumb.  Yes, they may have problems at other times of the day, and yes, I know that there are some folks who overstay their welcome as a matter of habit.  Ironically, once place I’ve seen such is at Sweet Tomatoes.  On two occasions there have been large family groupings (in the center of one side, at their long tables designed to hold large groups), where they were finishing their meal as we arrived, and when we left…they were still there.  Obviously, they planned on camping here for a while.  So I know it happens.

But are all restaurants going to this “eat and get the hell out” strategy?  When were at Sweet Tomatoes earlier this week, I noticed that they are in the process of remodeling.  The new décor seems colder, less inviting…

…and they’ve taken the long tables out, too.