So Long, Seaside!

The papers are signed, the process complete, the utilities shut off, and the money is in the bank (what’s left, anyway).  We’ve finally sold the house in Seaside, and officially as of yesterday, have cut all ties from the coastal community we called home for 18 ½ years.

It’s been a loooooooong process.  Everything took longer than planned – finding a new community and house to live in, selling the business, and then selling the house in Seaside.  Now I’m only going to discuss the first part, as the business sale (eventually) worked out great – the new owners are doing a super job and enjoying themselves (and we got what we wanted from the sale), and as for the real estate transaction...  As you may know, Mona wrote a (humorous and only slightly exaggerated) book about buying a house, and that pretty much says it all except that if she ever writes a sequel about selling real estate I have the perfect title: “Clusterfuck.”

Anyway, it’s over.  And throughout the process people asked us the same question: “Why do you want to move?”  I’ve decided that there are two types of people in this country – people who move, and people who don’t.  Of course, there are a multitude of reasons for both moving and for not moving, including not being able to move.  I’ve met folks who live in the same town, the same neighborhood, and in one case the same house all their lives.  I know others who have lived in different towns, different states, different countries even.  In my opinion, if “travel broadens you,” then living elsewhere broadens you even more.

Is there something about being where you are that makes being where you are that much more special just because that’s where you are?  Is it like the psychology experiment where the moderator gives you a $5 coffee mug, then asks how much you’d sell it for, and you always say more (or much more, the so-called “Endowment Effect”)?  It seems that way.  “Why do you want to leave Seaside?” was the plaintive cry.  As if this was the perfect place to be.

Don’t get me wrong – there are many good folks who consider Seaside a wonderful place to live, and it had a reputation as a great place to retire.  It’s certainly a popular tourist attraction, and the retirement population is growing (as is the town itself, one of the fastest growing in Oregon).  But that alone doesn’t mean it’s the right place for us now.

Seaside was a fine enough place to live while we owned the business, which is frankly the reason we moved there.  We could have lived in neighboring towns like Gearhart or Cannon Beach, but they were too expensive and too far away.  If you’ve ever tried to negotiate US 101 on a summer day in tourist season, you’ll know why we chose to live where we did – in walking distance of the store.  Smart choice.

We had specific desires (which our real estate agent called “requirements”) for a retirement location.  We wanted to be much closer to the Portland metro area because of medical issues.  Seaside does have a hospital, but if you’re in need of a specialist, you’ll make the 2-hour drive to Portland.  We wanted more room – in Seaside, we could see into our neighbor’s kitchen from our kitchen – on BOTH sides.  There were no large lots or acreage in Seaside, and anything close by wasn’t close by.  If you have to drive several miles to get to a grocery store, bank, whatever…why not live somewhere where you have a much larger choice of groceries, banks…AND you don’t have to wade through tourist traffic for nearly four months every year.

Oh, I forgot to mention that the drive to Portland from Seaside is a fine drive for two-thirds of the year.  From November to February there’s always the danger of strong storms and heavy snow in the Coastal Range, and while you can drive around on US 30 and avoid the higher elevations, you’ll add 30-40 minutes to your drive on a dry day, and you can still run into snow, ice, and freezing rain.  No thanks.

There were other factors, of course.  We spent nearly 10 years researching the “ideal” spot to retire, and we actually settled in the #2 spot on our master list (on the #2 piece of property we found).  It’s not a “perfect” location but it meets most of our requirements, more so than Seaside (and the house is brand-new and larger than the cottage we had there).  So we moved.  To us it was an easy choice, but it was still difficult for others to understand why we’d want to move. 

Every place we’ve lived before this we can tell you good things about and not-so-good things, too.  Every community has stellar points and sore spots.  Ann Arbor, MI was a great place for education, but has lousy weather (six months of winter and six months of bad skiing).  Plus, we had economic issues there (it’s not a cheap place to live).  Ypsilanti (next door to AA) was OK, but it suffered from many of the same problems.  Eugene, OR was very nice, with great summers, but we moved there when the city was going through a tough economic spell (they also have great parks).  Monroe, LA has great food, friendly people, but it’s in the “David Duke” section of the state.  Boise, ID was dynamic – great university, parks, and recreation galore – if it ends in “ing” you can do it in Boise.  However, Boise has the unfortunate condition of being located in Idaho.  It’s isolated and red as all get out.  Too bad.

Seaside has the beach, of course, and more restaurants and banks than a normal town of 6,000 people.  That’s due to it’s being a tourist destination.  Problem is, everything else about the town is geared to tourism, meaning that all other shopping and services are best found elsewhere.  In the last few years neighboring Warrenton, 13 miles north, has grown with chain-store strip malls that fill in some blanks, but it’s not enough for us. 

The woman who bought our house is moving from Washington and is delighted with all of what Seaside has to offer.  She’s always wanted to live by the beach with her three little rescue dogs, and now she has the chance to do so.  We’re sure she’ll be very happy here.  Funny thing is, even she wonder why we were moving away from Seaside.  She actually thought we were reconsidering our move (even though we moved in to our new house five months ago) when we asked for a time extension on the sales agreement. 

Of course, it HAD to be that, and not the fact that she had beaucoup items on the Buyer’s Repair Addendum that has to be fixed before the prescribed date AND she gave us this list on short notice RIGHT before the Fourth of July weekend AND Seaside suffers from a shortage of plumbers and electricians AND they are all busy AF during the summer because that’s when EVERYONE gets work done. 

Which is another reason why we wanted to move.

PokerStars Can’t Find Me – And Doesn't Care - and that’s a problem

I admit it’s a small problem, because where I live I can’t play for real money.  Yet.  Still, it highlights a flaw in the system, and because I got a ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ when I asked about it, I felt it was time to go public.

Yes, I participate in “play money” games.  I’m not ashamed to admit it.  I’ve been a member of PokerStars since 2003, so I’ve had an account there for what seems like forever, and back in the “good ol’ days” I did play for real money.  But now, sometimes when I am bored (or feel like multi-tasking), I’ll open the laptop, sign on to PokerStars, and get into a quick “spin-and-go” table.  It helps pass the time.  And until April of last year, I had no problems.

But because of a lawsuit in Washington state, PokerStars became pro-active about offering play money gaming, and prohibited players in that state from playing any of it’s play money games.

Pisser.

Problem is, I live in Oregon.

Back then, I lived in Seaside, and while we’re close to the border, we’re not that close (a good 18 miles).  When the pop-up “can’t play here” screen first appeared, I wrote to PokerStars support about it (and got the “shrug” response).  Basically, they blamed it on my ISP, EasyStreet, which sort of made sense, as they have servers located in Vancouver, WA.  The thing is, I wasn’t always blocked – just most of the time.  There were occasions when I could get on and play, and I never did think as to why I could.  It could be that the ISP has other servers (in Portland) and I was hooked into those on those lucky days.  I just was thankful that I could play again (even if it was only play money, it beats Zynga).

Fast forward to 2019, and we’ve moved to Warren.  I’m still in Oregon, but now I have CenturyLink as my ISP.  I attempted to log on and play on PokerStars right away, and – bingo!  Access!  I thought my problems were over.

But just yesterday the bugaboo was back.  I logged on as always, and instead of getting action, I got the damn “can’t play here” pop-up.  I tried again today (after shutting down and rebooting) and I still can’t play.  I have no idea how long it will last.

But I can tell you that this is a problem.  Sure, it’s only play money now.  But it sends a signal (get it?) that there are STILL issues with the geolocation programs.  PokerStars has a whole page devoted to the issue, but it doesn’t help me a bit.  And that makes me very unhappy – not just for myself, but for the online gaming industry.

Someone should look into this, and take it a bit more seriously than ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.

I’m Having Trouble Understanding This. Can You Help?

Amazon's logo or Peyronie's disease?

Before I tell you the story, I need to give you some background.  Full disclosure and all that, so that you don’t think this is coming from a feeling of getting ripped off.  I just genuinely do not understand how this company does what it does.

The gist of it:

• I have been shopping online for years.
• I have been shopping online with Amazon for years.
• Up until this last purchase, I’ve never had a problem with anything ordered from Amazon.
• Even though there was a problem, I am satisfied with the end result and I will continue to shop Amazon.
• I just don’t understand what happened – or why.

We ordered three sets of curtain rods for the new house.  It was a bit of an unusual order in that two of the three sets were long rods (one was 180 inches, another 240”).  All three were of the same style and color, made by the same company (the aptly-named “Rod Desyne”), and all three were handled by “Amazon Fulfillment.”  Here’s where it gets weird:

• All three were shipped in the same size box.
• Each rod set was shipped on different, separate days.
• Two came by USPS and one by UPS.

Still, it wasn’t until I was putting up the third (and longest) rod that I noticed that two small parts were missing from this last shipment.  Yeah, I should have checked all three first when they arrived – stupid me.  I went online to see about getting those two missing parts (which came in a small box inside the bigger box).  There were only options for return or replacing the whole item, and since part of it was already up, that wasn’t happening.

So I used the online chat feature to see if I could get the two small parts that were missing from the third rod sent to me.  The customer service rep only gave me two options – return the item (like I said, not happening) or accept a $15 credit for the missing parts.  I asked if I could use that $15 toward ordering the two missing parts, and was informed that I’d have to buy the whole rod ($15 didn’t cover it by a long shot).  I told the rep that wasn’t acceptable, and disconnected the chat.

Then I noticed that you could have a rep call you.  I thought that maybe if I actually spoke with a real person, I’d have a chance to explain what I needed and actually get results.  I clicked “call me” and just like that, the phone rang.  I spoke with a real person (who sounded like English was their first language) and explained my situation.  Unlike the first rep, this one had a way to get those missing parts to me.  Sort of.  Here’s what he said:

“We’ll ship you another complete rod set.  Take out the two missing parts and then send the rest of it back to us.  All on our cost, of course.”

Rather than ship me just what I needed, they shipped me the whole thing, all over again, and then, after taking my two parts, I sent it back to them with the label they provided.  Just like he said – no cost to me.  And while it was “easy,” it certainly could not have been cheap to do this.  I received confirmation yesterday that they’ve received my return, so we’re all good (and now I can talk about it – I didn’t want to jinx it before everything was deal with).

So here’s what I don’t understand.  Yes, this act “kept the customer satisfied” but couldn’t the same results be achieved with a simpler and LESS EXPENSIVE method?  I have to assume that I’m not the only customer who received an item with missing parts.  Do they do this with EVERYONE?

Remember, Amazon made more than ELEVEN BILLION DOLLARS in 2018.

They also paid ZERO in Federal Income tax.

I don’t understand that, either.  Anyone have a clue?  Post it.  Thanks.

Nor Normal

When the news about the doctored video seemingly showing a drunk Nancy Pelosi first surfaced on Thursday, I made a couple of comments about how I expected it to show up soon on a few conservative friends’ Facebook pages.  I never thought it would show up in the President’s Twitter feed.

Check that – I never considered that it would show in a normal President’s Twitter feed.

This one?  A cinch.  If there’s one continual thread that we’ve seen over the last three years, it’s that Trump attempts to destroy and demonize ANYONE who is against him.  Even previous administration officials and personal friends who Trump once spoke glowingly about are now on the Trump (s)hit list.  Rex Tillerson, Steve Bannon, Michael Cohen, Jeff Sessions, etc.  I can’t wait until one of his kids does something that causes Donnie heartburn – no doubt he’ll toss them under a bus, too (hey, Tiffany!).

So sure, Trump posting the doctored video from Fox “News” was sadly expected.  As is the [crickets] from congressional Republicans and the usual condoning (or outright praising) of his posting the vid from rabid Trump supporters.

Look – you may continue to support Trump’s policies and programs.  You can cheer his continual spending of (your) money for his golf outings at his properties.  You can keep going to the rallies and buying the hats and proudly proclaim (despite any evidence) that he’s the greatest President, ever.  But you can’t give him (or Fox News) a pass on this.

You protested Obama’s use of Dijon mustard and his wearing of a tan suit, and yet Trump’s obvious slander of the Speaker of the House goes by without ANY CRITICISM?  Shame on you.

I have come to the conclusion that there are only two types of Trump supporters who can condone his posting of this obvious fake video: Bots and assholes.

Bots are programmed to always support whatever Trump does, no matter how awful, degrading, or harmful to America.

Assholes are...pretty much the same.

Don’t be an asshole.

Lawning and Fawning

Forgive me Father, for…it’s been a month and a half since my last post.  And I really thought that once I got hooked up online at the new house that I’d actually BE online more.  It hasn’t worked out that way for a number of reasons.  First off, we’re down to one computer, so I have to share.

Secondly, there’s the lawn.

I’ve never owned anything but a manual lawnmower prior to this, because I never had much of a lawn.  Two acres required something more substantial, so I bought my first riding mower.  It’s electric, so I still avoid using fossil fuels to zip around the yard. 

Except I’m not exactly zipping around.  Like I said, this is my first riding lawn mower, and there’s a learning curve.  It’s also a helluva yard.  Big, yes, but it’s also bumpy as hell from ruts left by the construction crews and the former tenants – field mice (they left holes and tunnels everywhere).  It’s mostly field grass with some weeds, clover, and some other unidentified fibrous growth.  And it grows like crazy, so I’m going v e r y slowly over the terrain.  One charge is supposed to be good for two hours or two acres.  I get the two hours, easy, but it takes three installments to get it all done.

So there’s not been much time to be on the computer.  And when I’m online, I spend most of my time in worthwhile pursuits – there’s little time to check the news and Facebook to see what I can rant write about.

And when I do check Facebook, I still see what I saw before I dropped offline.  Fawning.

Some of my friends are Republican and conservative, and many of them think Donald Trump is the greatest thing since sliced bread.  They never have issue with anything he does.  Ever.  And some of them post every conservative meme ever created, and comment with the most glowing verbiage every time someone else makes a similar meme post, or is combative with any liberal (or factual) post shouting to the rooftops that Donald Trump is (a) the greatest President ever, (b) God-like, or (c) God.

No honest debate, no fact-slinging, just the same empty-valued praise like you’d give a silly puppy (who’s a good boy?).  It gets real goopy real quick.  Three examples:

ONE:

Guy posts a meme on his FB page about the “skyrocketing ratings” for Trump.  Since I saw the news the day before, I commented on the fact that the approval rating had actually “skyrocketed” to 45% from…44%.  All of ONE percent, and with a Margin of Error of +/- 4%, this meant that statistically there was NO MOVEMENT.  After some back and forth, he said he believed that Trump’s approval rating was probably closer to 50% or more, but it didn’t matter, because “I don’t really believe in polls.” 

Pro tip:  If you don’t believe in polls, don’t post about polls.

TWO:

Guy rants about Democrats, uses usual name calling, and ends with “Their nothing but a bunch of idiots.”

Pro tip:  When calling someone an idiot, it’s a good idea to check your spelling, else you look like an idiot.

THREE:

This –

Even more amazing were the comments made AFTER the obious was explained.  My favorite was the guy (why is it always guys?) who said, “It’s not bigotry, it’s ignorance.”

Yeah, that makes it all better.  Pro tip:  Think, people, think.

I gotta go mow the lawn.

After 6 1/2 weeks, I'm back online. I think that's a good thing.

If you are reading this, my bout of “Internet Impotence” is over.

Back a loooooong time ago (January), I had access to the Internet just like regular people do.  I checked email.  I looked up stuff (thanks, Wiki!).  I bought things.  I downloaded porn and gambled all da…errr, I checked my stock portfolio.

Then, we moved, and all hell broke loose.

We took our time moving from the old house in Seaside to the new house in Warren, and during all the back-and-forth time we kept our phone line and Internet connection in Seaside.  We used that connection to go online to find out which provider would best serve our needs in the new house – CenturyLink (which we had in Seaside and hated), and Comcast/Xfinity, the service nearly everyone in our new neighborhood has.  We quickly discovered that to both providers, we didn’t exist.

Having a new address meant not being in the database, apparently, and this complicated matters.  I had no idea how much. I figured that the idea of “new address” wasn’t foreign, especially where we moved to, as there was new construction all around in our little burg (Warren is now considered “highly desirable” in the real estate ads.  Who knew?).  CenturyLink even had a little “is this a new address” button on their “request info” page on their website, but this didn’t seem to help much.

Eventually, I had to make phone calls.  I explained the situation to both Comcast and CenturyLink, that we had a new house, wanted phone and Internet, and that all of our neighbors had Comcast service and loved it (OK, I left that last part out when I called CenturyLink).  So what could I get and how much did it cost?

CenturyLink decided that even if I didn’t show up in their system I and even if I didn’t ask about DirecTV, THAT’S what they wanted to sell me, regardless.  After all, I’d get savings by bundling services I didn’t want and something something blah blah gift card that I’d never use and can we sign you up today?  Three times I had to explain to a somewhat bored customer service rep that I only wanted information, not action, and not TV, and only Internet and local phone. And she came right back with another offer that included unlimited long distance and DirecTV with HBO.  “YOU’RE NOT LISTENING,” I said (rather loudly).  Eventually I got some numbers and thanked her.  It was as expensive as I figured it would be, so I assumed I’d be like all my neighbors and switch to Comcast.

The response I got from Comcast was…curious.  “You’re not in our system,” they explained after I told them that I wasn’t in their system when I tried to get information online.  “It could be that we don’t service that area.”  I explained that my neighbors to the east, south, north, and west all had Comcast, and since there weren’t any directions left, I assumed I could get Comcast, too.  They weren’t as certain as I, and said they had to talk to engineering and get back to me.

Two days later, they got back to me.  Seems that when they dug to lay their fiber optic line, they blew right past our property, assuming that since every other piece of property had a home on it, there was no reason to think that ours would someday as well, so they skipped us.  Sure, we could dig a trench to lay a new line to your house, they offered, but there would be an expense.  Since I just built a new house and had underground utilities installed, I was no stranger to the process.

I was, however, not familiar with their idea of what it cost.  About eleven grand.

Now like I said, I just built a house and had underground utilities put in.  I PAID to have trenches dug, both on the property and under the street.  I KNOW what I paid for THAT, and it was nowhere near $11K.  Seeing that they had no further obligation to me other that this “up yours” offer, I passed.  Sigh.  Time to call CenturyLink again.

This time I got a helpful, cheerful customer assistant person who gave me a completely (lower) set of prices for my services, so I agreed online to have them come out and install both the local line and a line for Internet.  The Internet speed they quoted was twice as fast as what the first rep told me (and 4x what I had in Seaside), so even though it was nowhere near as fast as Comcast’s fiber line, it was still faster that what I could actually get from Comcast (nada) and it came with their “Price for Life Guarantee.” However, they have to give you two lines for some reason, most likely so they can send you two bills and then jack the rate on the line not covered by the guarantee.  Yes, I am cynical about that.

Still, it seemed like I was halfway home, and then the rep asked me if my contractor had installed a line and taken it to the end of the property.  I was ready for this, because I knew he had and he actually showed me where it was located.  “Sure did, and there’s a box at the end of the property next to the neighbor’s driveway with the wires all ready to go,” I told him.  “That’s great, because we have a junction box at the end of the driveway, too, and that will make hookup an easy thing,” he replied.  He then gave me the schedules for installation (two lines, two separate trips), but still, progress. 

That was back in February.  When CenturyLink installer #1 came out to install the phone line, he saw our line, saw their junction box, and noticed a problem. Our line did in fact extend to the end of our property, as it should.  Their box was in fact located at the end of the neighbor’s driveway.

On the other side of the driveway.

This meant that another trench would have to be dug, and the good news is that it wouldn’t cost anything (since CenturyLink is a public utility, I guess).  Before I tell you about that, let me tell you that five days later a second CenturyLink installer came out to install the Internet line.  As if no one told her about CenturyLink installer #1 and the need to dig a trench.  Because no one did.  And this is a “communications company,” remember.  She confirmed what I already knew, that they’d need to dig a trench to extend the line.

About that – like I said, the good news was that it wouldn’t cost me eleven thousand.  Wouldn’t cost me a dime.  But you know the old saying, “time is money.”  That, it would cost me, because to dig that trench could take forever.  And did. 

First off, they said they had to get a permit to dig from Columbia County.  As I mentioned above, I just built a home here, so I know something about how long it takes to get a permit here.  When CenturyLink installer #1 said the whole thing shouldn’t take but 2-3 weeks, I nodded and said, “Sure.”  Inside my head, I said, “In your dreams.”  Because while “Columbia County Time” isn’t exactly “Island Time,” it’s damn close.

After three weeks, I called for an update, and was told “well, we just got the permit.”  More time elapsed and another update told me that it was scheduled to be done before the end of the month.  That would make it just over five weeks, not 2-3 weeks, and here’s the spoiler alert, they didn’t make that either.

In the meantime, I was getting online in the most haphazard way for short spells.  When we were “in town” we’d stop at the public library to borrow their wifi, and we’d steal some time in a coffee shop doing likewise, but it was a real pain.  We’d save up what we’d need to buy/check/etc. online, then try to do it all in the 30-minite window we were connected, then go home and remember we forgot stuff and couldn’t get online again until a couple more days.

Except…we still had an internet connection at our old house.  We kept the phone hookup active, just in case we needed something when we were there cleaning up and getting the place ready to sell.  It was two hours from home, but it was a chance to get online and catch up. 

Well, it was.

On one trip to the old house I emailed my ISP asking about my options in keeping just my email account going until I could switch everything over to another account once we were connected at the new house.  They somehow interpreted this to mean CUT EVERYTHING OFF RIGHT NOW!  I was in the middle of ordering something for the new house when I noticed I was no longer connected to the internet.  I went through the standard routine - reboot modem, reboot computer – still nothing.  I went to do some outside work on the house and came back an hour later, and…still no internet.  So I called Tech Support (where I already have a black asterisk next to my name – that’s a long story for another time) and after being put on hold for a VERY LONG time the tech came back to tell me that they had cut me off, and that getting me reconnected was a long and difficult (and pretty much impossible) process.  I said “thank you” (well, it kinda sounded like “thank you”) and that was that. 

Oh, he did say that I still had access to my email account for the rest of the month, and I could access it…if I could get online somewhere.  I found out later that they did notify me and made me an offer to keep just the email for a year for $30.

That notification was sent by email, of course.

So now I had no connection at home and I was at the mercy of the library and their available hours (and no gambling or porn, of course), and getting madder by the day.  Finally, on March 29 (five full weeks after the initial visit by CenturyLink installer #1), an official-looking truck rolls up my driveway.  It’s a technician for the excavating company sub-contracted by CenturyLink that will be digging the trench.  He says that they’re scheduled to do the dig on April 1 (an ominous day if there ever was one), and all that he’s doing is marking the street for where the dig is to be (which, I should point out that this was already done five weeks ago by CenturyLink installer #1).  Because he was paid by the hour, or maybe by the number of spray paint cans used, he re-marked the locations in a different color than CenturyLink installer #1.  It looked lovely.

Later, I was curious, so I called the number on the business card he left to see if, in fact, they would dig when he said they would, which would be the last day in order to make the deadline promised to me in the last update I got from CenturyLink.  You no doubt realize that I was not to be disappointed, in the sense that I already knew they wouldn’t dig then, and I was right.  No, they still had to send out the “locator” before the dig, but the dig was scheduled for April 4, so no doubt the locator would be at my place on Monday or Tuesday.  Still curious, I asked why the process had taken so long.  I was told, “Well, we just found about it ourselves last week, and we fit it into our schedule as soon as we could.”  Seems CenturyLink kicked it around their offices, higher-up, mucky-mucks, and assorted departments for 4 ½ weeks before deciding that, yeah, I guess we should honor that part of the letter we sent Mr. Exinger when we claimed,

“We are excited for you to being using and enjoying CenturyLink products.”

Now, I don’t want to get too far ahead of my story, but damn…the locator WAS there on Monday, and they DID dig the trench on April 4 and so I called CenturyLink to let them know this.  And you know what?

They had no idea that the trench had been dug, claiming that all they knew was

(a) the home phone account work order had a “hold” on it for some reason, and

(b) the internet work order was…cancelled? 

“Can that be right?” the customer service rep said. “Um, wait a minute.  Let me go speak with my supervisor.”

“Before you do that,” I said, “please know that it’s been SIX WEEKS since I was promised phone and internet service, and as you might guess, I am just a little PO’d right about now.”

“Oh.  Would you hold?”  Like I had a choice.

Seven excruciating minutes later I was given the choice of 9am-1pm or 1pm-5pm on the next business day, and lo and behold, they actually came at 8:50am!  The home phone was first be connected, and about a hour later I saw the technician rise from her spot outside, and the phone rang!  She’s testing, I thought, so I quickly answered the phone.

It was a robocall about my chronic pain.  Seriously?  We’re live for less than a minute, and we get a robocall? 

Ain’t technology grand?

MORE OR LESS, We (still) Have Too Much Stuff

No solutions here

We’re taking a break from loading the car with stuff to take to the new house (there will be several of these trips), and I thought it a good time to finish the “too much stuff” trilogy.  You know how I feel about clutter from the first two posts, so this post is more of a “report card” to see how we’re doing in our attempts to simplify.  Some good, some no so good, and perhaps you can learn from our successes (and mistakes).

A big mistake – don’t bother with this magazine or others like it.  It’s not so much getting rid of your stuff as buying more stuff to display your stuff.  Some of the examples of “well organized” rooms and closets made us gag.  No wonder most of the advertisers were companies that made storage “solutions.”

OK, here’s our report card:

Books – our #1 Achilles heel. 

• GOOD:  we’ve made lots of donations of the books we’ve read, to the local library’s used books sale, to a couple of neighborhood “tiny libraries” and some poker books I’ve given away directly. 
• NOT SO GOOD:  We still go to used books sales, including the biggie in Portland.  With very large bags to put our findings in.  Still, I score better than the spousal unit – she has five books for every one of mine (and I can fill an entire bookcase).  More work is needed, but the good news is that now that we’re retired, we’ll have more time to read!

Furniture – this was our #1 priority. 

• GOOD: We now have nearly every piece of furniture we own be either lightweight (we can lift it) or it comes apart.  We also got rid of everything on our list that we knew we wouldn’t take with us.  We got a few bucks for some of it, and gave away the rest via FreeCycle, Craig’s list, FaceBook, and Goodwill. Oh, and we left a few items on the sidewalk, an easy (and effective) option around here.
• NOT SO GOOD:  Nothing!

Paper – We’re supposed to be moving to a “paperless” society.  Riiiight.

• GOOD:  When it comes to important paperwork and files, I like electronic copies and email.  Mona likes to keep the paper, because she says “…and we might need this someday because yargle bargle…”  And then every year we go through it all to see if we need to keep all of it.  Stuff like “helpful articles” about gardening, retirement, hobbies, investing, etc., usually with weblinks, but in reviewing those articles and links we find (a) old info that’s outdated, and (b) dead links.  I know, I know…just Google it.  Still, we shrunk what was TWO file cabinets to ONE.
• NOT SO GOOD:  We still have the one (completely full) file cabinet.

Wool – Many of you know that Mona spins.  Mostly sheep wool, but some alpaca, too.

• GOOD:  In our new neighborhood, our next door neighbor, Marlyn, also spins, and was “very excited” to hear that another spinner was nearby.  I am hopeful that Mona is able to utilize her retirement time with Marlyn on the wheel, because…
• NOT SO GOOD:  She has a LOT of wool, having not had much of a chance to spin since we left Idaho where a good friend gave her some wool from her sheep herd.  And she bought some from a guy in Indiana.  And some alpaca from a ranch over by Hood River.
• HARD TO BELIEVE:  Marlyn has more wool than Mona.  She’s taken over their dining room, and who knows how much more of the house (we didn’t see it all).  Her husband must be a saint.  I’ll ask for advice.

Food – one of those things you forget about in a move, but shouldn’t, since you have to either eat it or move it, and some stuff (frozen) cab be a pain to move.

• GOOD:  The weekly menu plan was somewhat irregular, but we’ve used up lots of stuff in the freezer and the pantry.  Of course, we’ll stock up once we move. 
• NOT SO GOOD:  We’re almost out of liquor.  Might need an emergency run.

MORE We Have Too Much Stuff

One way to deal with it all.  There are better methods.

My previous post touched on the fact that we, like most Americans, have wayyyy too much stuff.  Too many possessions, too much junk, too much stuff we don’t need, don’t want, don’t use any more.  Sure, at one time we wanted it, needed it, had to have it.

Now, it just clutters up the room, the house, and our lives.

This is a pressing issue now as we prepare to move.  It’s the first time in 18 years since we rented a U-Haul, and we know from experience that U-Haul also means you pack, you carry, and you do pretty much everything.  Even though we haven’t moved in quite a while, in our 43 years of marriage we’ve moved 15 different times, four different states, and three cross-country moves.  We’ve got it down to a science – we’ve (mostly) learned from our mistakes.

First off, the more you have, the more you have…to move, so get rid of what you won’t need in the new home.  Second, furniture is heavy.  We started buying less for design and more for functionality – that is to say, weight.  Another tip – know where the Goodwill truck is parked, and have other outlets for the stuff they won’t take.

Even though we know all this, it seems we still face countless boxes to pack up and move.  Books are the main culprit, though this time we seem to have gobs of paper.  Files from the business, files from the construction project for the new house, and many many many files we have not culled in quite some time.  Thank goodness we own a shredder.

If our own history hasn’t taught us the value of decluttering and simplicity, our families have provided more (junk) food for thought.  When my grandmother died and my father dragged me to her house to go through all of her stuff, I was shocked.  She was a prudent woman who “lived through the depression, you know” and was just not about possessions.  She and my grandfather lived simply and frugally.  So I thought.

She was a packrat of the worst kind.

She did not throw ANYTHING away.  Ever.  We found Christmas presents given years ago, still in the original box.  With the original wrapping paper.  And never used (neither the gift nor the paper).  We found boxes for jars and lids for canning (she stopped canning food a long time ago) and we found shelves of food she HAD canned…again, a long time ago.  My father cursed for days as we packed box after box to take to the Salvation Army and the thrift store.

Fast forward years later, and it’s me, my brother, and my Mom after Dad died.  In the basement.  With Dad’s ELEVEN bowling balls (he quit bowling 10 years prior).  And old work clothes and tools (he retired 13 years ago).  And so.  Much.  Junk.

He obviously didn’t learn a thing from his own mother, or he was seeking revenge for her pack-rattiness in the only way he could.  We found all sorts of “fun” and “interesting” things my mother had NO IDEA that he had kept from DECADES ago.  We found broken radio earplugs – 13 pairs, that Mom said he was “going to get around to fixing one of these days.”  We even found a gun she never knew he had.  But the best discovery was a 36 count box of Trojans (it was opened, but I never bothered to count how many were in the box – most of them, for sure).

I did mention my father was 77 when he died, didn’t I?

I did mention we found the condoms in his dresser drawer – and that by “we” I mean “my mother and I.”

I was embarrassed, and looking for a way to explain what, or how, or why, when Mom said, “Why, shit – what the hell did he need these for?”  And began to laugh hysterically.  “He sure didn’t need no gawd damn condoms.  Oh, Gawd!  Who the hell did he…?  Shit!  Oh my Gawd!”  I have never seen her laugh like that.  Ever.  It certainly came at the right time, as she had been feeling very maudlin about Dad’s passing, and it made the rest of the clean up a little easier.

But there was still too much stuff.  It took days to go through it all and to get rid of it.  And while I have no condoms of my own to move, I am a bit more careful about getting rid of stuff I don’t use or need any more.  My next post will be my “scorecard” as to our efforts in simplification.  Some good, some bad…some ugly.

We Have Too Much Stuff (you do, too)

Not, no this bad.  Still.

It's true.  We have too much stuff.

Unless you’re a Buddhist monk with your robe, sandals, and begging bowl, this probably means you, too.  We have too much stuff.  You have too much stuff.  Americans have way too much stuff.  And while it might be treacherous…nay, treasonous to say this in a consumer-based economy, it’s still true.

This is not a new position for me.  I was reminded of it last fall when we drove cross-country on I-80 and back on I-40 and witnessed truck after truck after truck loaded with goods from Amazon, Wal-Mart, and all the various trucking companies that haul those containers (many of which come in near us in Portland).  Sure, Christmas was just a month and a half-away, but it seemed like every other vehicle was a truck destined for some huge warehouse or warehouse store.

I was reminded again last week driving through our “new home area.”  As you enter neighboring Scappoose on US 30 you see one…two…three…four HUGE store-it-yourself storage facilities.  There are EIGHT in St Helens on the other side of us.  And we saw two new ones being built elsewhere along US 30 north of here.

The need for all that storage is amazing considering that homes today are much larger than they used to be – maybe 60-70% bigger.  With two-and-three car garages, no less.  We still need more room for all that stuff.  And tell the truth – how many of you know someone who can’t even park any of their cars in the garage because the garage is already filled up with all that stuff?  I can think of several – so many that when counting I run out of fingers.

Of course, some people have more than one home.  And still have the need for storage elsewhere.  That’s crazy.  The whole “multiple home” thing is crazy, too.  OK, I know that some people have a second home for vacationing (Seaside wouldn’t exist without ‘em) and I get that.  But three home?  Or seven?  YOU CAN’T LIVE IN TWO/THREE/SEVEN PLACES AT ONCE.

Multiple homes, cars, phones…it goes on and on.  Sure, you’re a two-car family because you have two people. But why does one person have three cars.  Again, you can’t drive them at the same time.  I can see having a car for transportation and a truck or van for work, but…  And why does one person need three cell phones?  I know TWO people who do so. 

And it seems like everyone has some sort of “collection” that threatens to take over every square inch of living area.  Owning a collection of cars (I know two who collect), or guns (three), or sports memorabilia (two more).  You name it – I collect gambling memorabilia, but poker chips are small (the entire collection fits in a file cabinet). 

Books.  We have a few.  OK, quite a few.  The spousal unit has more than I, but we’re not immune to this (there’s a bookcase in almost every room in the house, and we’ve gotten rid of hundreds of books in the last couple of years).

Google the title of this post – “We have too much stuff” – and you get 1.7 BILLION results.  Lots of good advice.  Probably more advice given in the last few years than ever, as more and more people realize that they are strangling themselves with too much stuff.  Decluttering is popular term, as is “Simplify,” “Downsizing,” and “Swedish Death Cleaning.”

We’ve been downsizing and simplifying and scaling down and doing the “clean and purge” (that’s what we call it) for years.  And we still have too much stuff.

So much so that I have to write another post explaining it all…

Media calls for President's resignation? READ ALL ABOUT IT (then laugh or cry)

The media is finally tired of all the lying – they’ve called for the President’s resignation!  Did you see these editorials?

"He should resign because he has resolutely failed — and continues to fail — the most fundamental test of any president: to put his nation's interests first…[he lacks] both…courage and…character…" - USA Today

"[The President] should resign. He should resign because his repeated, reckless deceits have dishonored his presidency beyond repair." - Philadelphia Inquirer

"[The President] should resign and go home…" - Detroit Free-Press 

"A president more concerned with the national interest than his own preservation would realize that resignation is his only responsible option." - Atlanta Journal Constitution 

What, you missed these?  Really?  Well, you can’t be blamed.  They’re all 20 years old.  All of these papers (and 111 more) were calling for the resignation of BILL CLINTON.

To my knowledge, none of them have called for Trump’s resignation.  But let’s be fair, there are several differences:

• Clinton’s inauguration was not under investigation
• Clinton’s foundation was not under investigation
• Clinton was not under investigation for being a foreign agent
• Clinton was not under investigation by the FBI, the US Attorney for the District of Columbia, nor the Attorney General for the State of New York 
• Clinton’s lawyer was not in jail
• Clinton’s campaign manager was not in jail
• Clinton’s National Security Advisor was not in jail
• Clinton’s Foreign Policy Advisor was not in jail

And so on.  And hey, I’m not the only one who’s noticed the discrepancy here.  The Hartford Courant, in an editorial, also recalled how they called for Clinton’s resignation.  In the op-ed, they said, “How quaint that notion seems now.”  They go on, “Mr. Trump’s parade of outrages — from saying he could ‘stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody’ and not ‘lose any voters’ to siding with Russian President Vladimir Putin over eight U.S. national security agencies on Russia’s interference in American elections — may have numbed the nation.”

I’m surprised they feel this way.  But I am not surprised at this – they have yet to call for Trump’s resignation.  No newspaper has.  The Philly Inquirer (quoted above) is another paper reviewing their call for Clinton’s resignation.  They say, “Exactly 20 years later, America is struggling to come to terms with a president whose tsunami of lies about matters both large and small have made Clinton’s Lewinsky lies look like a lonely mud puddle.”  And they lament the fact that no paper has called for Trump’s resignation.

But neither have they.  Why is that?  I’d love to hear your theories about this.  What’s different about the “liberal media” now?

He's been serving whoppers at the White House since the inauguration

Dribs and Drabs

Nothing here that’s earth-shattering or worthy of an entire post, but all together?  It’s in my head, so out it comes.

My sister-in-law gave me a 9 ounce can of chocolate covered coffee beans for Christmas.  I still have a third of a can left.  My brother-in-law gave us a tin of homemade toffee, and there’s half of that left, too.  My question is this – what the hell is wrong with me?

One of my new “you’re retired now so you have new things to do” jobs is cleaning out all my old emails.  Wow.  It’s, uh…been a while.  I found some oldies but goodies…

• We first started thinking about where we’d live in retirement in 2009, and I found an old email I sent to a company that makes modular homes (like what we got, but another firm).  I can’t believe I hung on to it, because at the time we said, “we can never afford this.”
• I went through all the emails from the kids that worked with us at the parlor, and I have concluded that “something just came up” = “I forgot this.”
• Don’t worry kids – I deleted ‘em all, so I won’t embarrass you later in life when you ask for a reference.
• It seems that, for a while, I forgot how to bookmark a website page.  Or I thought I found stuff that was really, really, REALLY interesting and didn’t want to forget about it, so I emailed the link to myself.  And then forgot about it, because I found such links in FIVE different folders.  So not only did I forget to go back to the links, I forgot where I was storing them.  To add insult to injury, most of the links are now dead.
• Just kidding kids – I saved ALL OF THEM.  Deleted a ton of other stuff, though.

Something else that slipped through the hands of time – Remembrance Day.  Nope, it’s not on your Hallmark calendar.  This is something we do every New Year’s Eve, though it’s a year-long event.  You’ve seen it on Facebook and elsewhere – every time something exciting/memorable/noteworthy happens, you write the event down on a small piece of paper and stick it in a jar (we use an old cookie jar, since we haven’t been making cookies of late).  When we went to read all of our notes for this year, we felt fond memories rising about 2018 – getting the business sold, getting the new house built (well, the progressive steps along the way).  Then Mona pulled out FINISHED ALPACA SWEATER.  “Wait a minute,” she said.  “That was last year.”  We pulled a few more from 2017 out of the jar and then realized that we never “celebrated” Remembrance Day last year.  Well, it WAS a stinker of a year.

I saw an article saying that paper books were making a comeback (versus eBooks).  Personal observation – I put three of my eBooks into paperback editions back in 2017, and initial response was “meh.”  This year?  MANY more sales, and now paperbacks are about half my total sales, even though only three of the five books are available in that edition.  I may need to rethink this.

Oh, and Mona’s paperback (see at right) got another 5-star review.  So go buy the thing already.  Or go review one of my books (provided you liked it).

Why does this remind me of a Redd Foxx album?

Finally – Am I the only one, or is the “Charmin Toilet Paper Bear Family” getting on your nerves, too?  They are starting to creep me out with all the “clean wipe” references.  Why not just go buy a bidet and be done with it?

What’s (Left) in Your Wallet?

Now that the holidays are over and everyone is back to work, let’s talk about the economy.  First, the good news:

• Christmas sales are expected to be up about 5% from last year.  Most retailers (except Apple) are pleased with the results.
• Today’s job numbers (for December jobs added) were stellar, much better than anticipated, and while the unemployment rate ticked up a bit, it’s still historically low, under 4%.
• 2018 showed solid U.S. GDP growth.  This along with the strong holiday sales point to an American economy that is more solid than fluctuating stock markets would suggest. 
• Consumer confidence is still high.

But we’ll get back to the stock market in a moment.  Now, the not-so-good news:

• Interest rates are up, making it more costly to borrow.
• The housing market is slowing down, partly due to those rising interest rates.
• The government is shut down, meaning that there are 800,000 government workers without pay – some still working, others furloughed.
• Bonus: an Executive Order froze all government salary rates for 2019.
• China's soybean imports from the United States plunged to zero in November, thanks to new tariffs.
• We’re still in a trade war.  Tariffs are impacting more than soybeans – cars, appliances, solar installations – many industries are just now feeling the pinch.  There are plant closings, layoffs, and bankruptcies of American institutions like Sears, Rockport, and Remington.
• The U.S. debt is rising.  So is the trade deficit.
• The global economy, while robust in 2017, is slowing, as evidenced by sputtering Germany factories and sluggish Chinese retail sales.  This, along with a strong dollar, is likely to hamper U.S. exports.

And getting back to the stock market – it’s taking a big jump today (based on those December job numbers).  This offsets the previous dip, so that for the year we’ll be just a smidge above where we started.  And, of course, the market has been in decline since October.  For the first time since 2008, stocks finished lower for the year.  It was the worst December since 1931.  Neither 1931 (Great Depression) nor 2008 (Great Recession) were harbingers of “good times ahead.”  So what’s REALLY happening with the market, and with the economy?

It’s the volatility, stupid.  Check out these graphs of the Dow.  It’s like watching wrestling – he’s up, he’s down, he’s up again.  But with BIG swings.  Some might say YUGE, both up and down, though again, the trend now is on the downside. 

This was last Friday, 12/28.  A wild ride that ended just a little lower than where it started.

Here's 2018 up to 12/18.  Peaks and valleys and we end on a BIG down note.

And here's the last five years - Obama's three (all up), and Trump's two (up and down).

To say, “there’s a great deal of volatility here” is putting it mildly.  The stock market is sometimes called a barometer of the economy, but the fact is that most Americans don’t own stocks (most are owned by the richest 10% and foreigners), so those numbers don’t mean squat to the average worker trying to live paycheck to paycheck.  And yet, the market is one of several indicators that show where we are in the economy. 

We know that the “great inequality” between the 1% and “everyone else” is growing.  The rich are getting richer, and the rest of us?  Not so much.  The tax reform act that passed last year sent more money to people who already had more money.  Touted as a “jobs act,” it created few jobs – there were some companies that expanded operations (because demand called for it), but most of the money went to something that until 1982 was illegal – stock buybacks.

In 2018 corporations spent a record $1 trillion buying back shares of their own stock (they’ve been doing this for years – they just went nuts last year).  These massive buybacks only pad the bonuses of corporate executives and wealthy investors, and provide no real benefit to the economy. 

Oh, and they artificially inflate stock values. So the market, which is off about 5% from 2017, could have been much worse off.  And 2017 should have been a good year, because across the globe economies experienced record growth.  The U.S. stock market has actually done worse than most of the developed world in 2017.  As a percent change in dollars, the U.S. has lagged behind the stock indices of France, Germany, Greece, Italy, Spain, Japan, China, India, Singapore, South Korea, Taiwan, Argentina, and Chile.

A year ago, I wrote a few blog posts (here, here, and here) about the tax cuts and last year’s government shutdown (is this an annual affair now, like January White Sales?).  I predicted that things wouldn’t turn out well, and I was right.  Eventually.  Yes, nothing happened right away, but the economy is like a steamship – it’s doesn’t just “turnaround” that quickly.

Personal Full Disclosure:  shortly after that last post on January 20, we unloaded our stock portfolio.  We’ve been “in the market” since the 80s and while I hated to do it, we feared the volatility of the market, not wanted to risk what little nest egg we had built up.  The timing wasn’t perfect to be sure, and there were times when I almost regretted the decision, but now we look smart.

Meanwhile, the interest rate on our HELOC has gone up a full point, while our savings are still mired in rates that would embarrass Ebenezer Scrooge.  Inflation is not that bad.  OK, the reported inflation rate isn’t bad, but the government has changed the way it calculates inflation more than 20 times.  If you’ve purchased meds, food, or tuition, you know what you’re paying now is more than what you paid last year.  This website calculated a “Shadow Inflation Rate” that sounds far more realistic.  And scary.

So what’s in store for the rest of 2019?  Uncertainty.  I don’t mean that I’m not certain what to expect, I mean I expect uncertainty.  That’s going to play havoc with the markets, with planning, with people’s incomes and lives.  It’s going to be a very bumpy ride.

And you haven’t even seen the new tax forms yet, have you?  You’ll shit.