Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Blackjack Reminders…and a Funny

I thought I’d take a week off of poker…at least, writing about poker…and talk a bit about Blackjack.  One reason is that my Blackjack strategy book, “The ABC’s of 21” is flying off the shelves (well, better than the other two books, and I even sold a “Nook” version).  Another is something that reminded me of something that reminded me to remind players about something.  And then I came across the “funny” from a Facebook friend, and that settled it.

So, the reminder is this – since you’re not playing blackjack every day (are you?), and the skills you need to play blackjack should always be razor sharp, you need to practice. There are plenty of good programs out there that allow you to set the scene – number of decks, Las Vegas or Reno or AC rules, etc.  Some are free, and others aren’t, but as always, you get what you pay for (in that the free programs have fewer features). 

Being cheap, I always look for free, and since I spend some time online…I practice at sites that aren’t really like the real thing, but they are great for ONLY dealing with Basic Strategy (as card counting is counter-productive, no pun intended).  I’ve been playing a Facebook app called MyVegas (from the MGM/Mirage folks) that has a blackjack game as one of their options (the others are all slots, but you can win points usable at their properties, and since I usually stay at Luxor, an MGM/Mirage property…it makes sense).  The game is fast, you can play three hands at once, and although they use a “perpetual digital deck” (continually reshuffled multi-deck, so counting cards is non-existent), it’s great for practicing Basic Strategy, which by now everyone kn ows because you bought my book.  Or something.  Anyway, if you’re interested in joining the site, it’s free and I can send you chips to get you started.  Just ask here on the blog, or on Facebook, or contact me somehow.

Now, the funny.  A posting from FB friend Judy went like this:

Playing blackjack and got on a run when someone at the table wanted to split pictures. The guy next to me was laughing so hard I had to ask what was so funny. He said he went to split pictures one time and an 80 year old woman said to him, "If you had a 12 inch cock would you cut it in half?" He said he nearly fell off the chair, never split pictures again and gets a good laugh every time someone else does.

That was funny enough (and good advice), but one of the comments that followed was even better:

What do you think the woman would have used for a metaphor if it was a woman splitting pictures?  Then again, a woman wouldn't be so dumb.

Can’t say I disagree.

So remember – practice, don’t split picture cards, and guys…don’t hack your weenie, no matter what.

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