Tuesday, November 10, 2015

Seeing (Just) Red

By now you’re familiar with the “Starbucks Red Cup” controversy, also known as “Another Salvo by a Mega-Corporation in the War on Christmas.”  Noted “Public Figure” and ex-pastor Joshua Feuerstein (who USES a lot of CAPITALS in his POSTS to show how ANGRY HE is) got the ball rolling, accusing Starbucks of “hating Jesus” because they are offering a plain red cup this year instead of a cup that has the traditional biblical symbols of the season such as snowflakes and reindeer (both are part of the manger scene, I’m pretty sure of it).  Actually, you can see by the pic below that this year’s cup isn’t that much different than last year’s (and the last several years also seem to lack a certain Christian flair – see this wonderful article via VOX).  Winter scenes, yes, but Christmas?  Maybe in a secular (commercial) way only.
Left: 2015 Anti-Christ Cup
Right:  2014 Dead Tree for Jesus Cup
As stooped as all of this is (and make no mistake, it is STOOPID), the “solution” suggested by Feuerstein is even worse.  He suggests that when you order your skinny-double-tall-half-caf cappuccino (no foam, please) you state your name as “Merry Christmas” so that they have to write it on the cup and announce it and that way the baby Jesus gains another set of wings.  Or something like that.

Well, having a common name like “Mike” I can tell you that if good Christian people do as Joshua suggests, it will be hell on earth (excuse the jarring hyperbole).  What if TWO people use “Merry Christmas” as their names, and one has a 8 ounce decaf while the other orders a Quad Grande? 

And that’s not the worst of it.  The very fact that Feuerstein hates Starbucks because, in his words, they aren’t “allowed to say Merry Christmas to their customers,” so his genius response is to…give them MORE BUSINESS? 


First, there’s the ton of free publicity your stunt is providing them, Josh.  And then, instead of boycotting the chair, you want your followers to ACTUALLY GO IN AND ORDER SOMETHING SO STARBUCKS CAN PROFIT.

You are seriously stoopid, Joshua.

Here’s a better idea.  OK, several:

1)    Go to Dunkin Donuts – they have shitty coffee, but their cups say “Joy” on them, so that’s a bit more in the holiday spirit (though around the Exinger household I can tell you the most joyous season is when the kids go back to school).
2)    Go to a local coffee shop – they most likely use a plain white cup (like you get at the wholesaler) but you can take the money you save by buying local (usually always cheaper than chains like Starbucks) and put it in the coffers of your local food bank or give it to the homeless guy with the cardboard sign at the corner or the Salvation Army kettle (yes, it’s PLAIN RED like the STARBUCKS cup, but get over it ‘cuz I think they are on Jesus’s side on this one).
3)    Stay home and brew your own coffee and put it in any damn cup you want.

And remember, like the Starbucks cup – ignore the fancy or non-fancy container – it’s what’s INSIDE that counts.

No comments:

Post a Comment