If It Were Up to Me…

And I love the Red, White, and Blue; just not in that order.

I did a thought experiment today; play along with me.  Let’s say I am the President of the United States.  No, not President Mike Exinger – I am Donald J. Trump.  Yeah, I’m President Trump, and if it were up to me, this is what I’d do.

I’m President.  Period.  I won the election.  Not so bigly like I’ve claimed, but I won.  I’ve got a compliant (that is to say, Republican) Congress, so I am pretty much guaranteed that my agenda is going to get a fair hearing and most likely I will be successful in implementing my programs.

So what’s the problem?  Well, I like attention, and I want to be seen favorably.  I certainly have my fans, but there are many who don’t care for me.  And that includes the press, which doesn’t help make me any new friends.

Of course, it’s not ALL of the press – I’d be nowhere without Fox News and many right-leaning media outlets (National Enquirer, Sheldon Adelson, Breitbart…you all know who you are).  But much of the “MSM” I consider to be the “enemy of the American people.”  Most particularly those members of the press we excluded from Friday’s gaggle.  They all have one thing in common – they’re all investigating and running stories about my “so-called” ties to Russia.

Funny thing is, the more I castigate the press, the worse I seem to be doing in those all important polls of my approval.  I did not see that coming.

So how can I win the public over and finally put the media in its place (the dumpster)?

Well, if it were up to me, I’d say “Let’s investigate me – fully.” 

No, really.  I’ve got nothing to hide, remember?  I am squeaky clean like a baby from its bath.  I’d haul out my tax returns, let them assign a Special Prosecutor, hold hearings with subpoena power – you name it.  Let them flail about trying to pin something on me – and come up empty.

Sure, Michael Flynn and Paul Manafort and Michael Cohen and Felix Sater may or may not have Russian connections, but that’s not ME.  I said I have no deals with Russia.  They don’t have anything on me – no secret recordings, no video, no loans, no Russian mafia, nada.  Investigate all you want, and when the smoke clears?  I am home free, and the American Press will have egg on their collective face.

Winning!

Now the thing is, like I said, I have to be squeaky clean.  I really have to be in the clear, and that means I really can’t have any ties to Putin or Russia or the Russian mafia at all.  Nyet.  I mean, none.

Now, if it were up to me and I DID have ties to Moscow; maybe a loan or three, some previous nefarious communications, a night with a проститутка…what would I be doing about that? 

Pretty much this right now.