Tuesday, September 14, 2021

The Dog Ate My Ballots

Every student knows this one trick, and it’s not even weird.  It’s a cliché.  Didn’t get that homework assignment done in time?  No sweat – just tell Teacher that the dog ate the finished product.  You’re blameless and best of all, there’s no evidence (the dog ate it – get it?).

Kinda like VOTER FRAUD.

It’s become the GOP cliché to claim that every election is due to one reason and one reason only – VOTER FRAUD (always capitalize, and BOLD when necessary; italics might make some feel that the phrase is being used ironically – laugh here).  They lose not because they don’t have the best interests of voters in mind, nor that they failed to “get out the vote” or because they have absolutely no good policies or even because they ran shitty candidates or IT’S A FUCKING LEFT LEANING STATE FOR CHRISSAKE.  Nope, gotta be VOTER FRAUD.

And VOTER FRAUD is just like “the dog ate my homework” in that (a) teachers/gullible conservatives tend to believe it without any evidence, and (b) there’s never any evidence.  Easy peasy.

It doesn’t even matter if there were hundreds of thousands of votes and the margin of victory was tens of thousands, 10% or more.  Those wily Democrats imported ballots from China or Norway or somewhere and maybe the governor’s dog ate a whole mess of them.

And any whiff of potential fraud no matter how many times it’s been debunked or explained is worthy of reporting…over and over and over and over.  Red meat for the base.  If 300 ballots are a small part of some larger mail heist IGNORE all that and tell your viewers just how diabolical those pesky Dems are, and assure them that mail-in ballots are the devil’s work and that fraud is in the air, everywhere and the election is rigged – hell, every election is rigged.

Unless you win, and then it’s all good.

Voter fraud is, in the words of Brennen Center for Justice, “vanishing rare, and does not happen on a scale even close to that necessary to ‘rig’ an election.”  OF course, that never stops Republicans, especially now that VOTER FRAUD has been given Carte Blanche by the former guy (I am surprised he didn’t use it in the big heavyweight fight he did commentary for on 9-11; and gosh, wasn’t THAT patriotic of a former President?).

So, for the record, let me state that:

  • Almost twice as many Californians are registered Democrats (46.5%) than Republicans (24.0%).
  • California’s two Senators are both Democrats.
  • Forty-two of the 53 House of Rep seats are held by Democrats (that’s almost 80%).
  • The California State Assembly is overwhelmingly Democratic, 60-19 (1 indy).
  • So is the State Senate, with Dems having a 30-9 advantage.

IT’S PROBABLY THE MOST LIBERAL STATE IN THE UNION.

Every pre-election poll this month showed the recall failing and/or failing badly (and before this month there were only three polls out of 26 that showed a potential for recall.

But VOTER FRAUD.

Riiiiiiight.

For the record, loser-Republicans who bitch about imaginary VOTER FRAUD are pathetic whiny-ass-titty-babies.

And let’s not forget that Republican-in-case-this-recall-thing-works candidate Larry Elder put up a website on Monday…the day BEFORE the election…to claim that they already found fraud:

Statistical analyses used to detect fraud in elections held in 3rd-world nations (such as Russia, Venezuela, and Iran) have detected fraud in California resulting in Governor Gavin Newsom being reinstated as governor.  The primary analytical tool used was Benford’s Law and can be readily reproduced.

For the record, loser-Republicans who bitch about imaginary VOTER FRAUD are pathetic whiny-ass-titty-babies.

And for the record, at the time this website was live and the above was loudly proclaimed, NO results had been released (since the election was THE NEXT DAY).

Also for the record – I had to look up what the hell Benford’s Law is, and while it’s fascinating, it cannot be used to prove fraud for ANYTHING (merely a potential that something might be amiss). 

And also too – voter distributions do NOT fit into the standard data used in Benford’s Law tests; ergo, not only can it NOT be used to prove fraud, it cannot be used in a statistically valid manner.

I’m sure Larry Elder knows that.

Fucking pathetic whiny-ass-titty-baby.

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