The Sound Of Sheldon

This will never win a Grammy for Graham, but it might get him a few more dollars from Adelson

I mentioned in a Facebook post that I was working on this blog post, but the fact is I had to re-write the whole damn thing.  You see, I wanted to emphasize that although we in the poker world know a great deal about the upcoming hearings for HR 707 (RAWA), there’s no info coming from the other side.  Chaffetz has posted nothing on his website or FB page, Graham doesn’t even know HOW, and the Coalition to Stop Online Gambling had not acted, either.  Until today.

Suddenly they had a “contact” page that looks vaguely familiar.  Hell, face it – I think they’ve seen the power of our Daily Action Plans via the PPA and copied it.  In a belated effort to tweet and email the members of the Judiciary Committee before the hearing, they’ve taken a page from our playbook.  I, for one, will be interested to see how many folks participate.  BTW, you can use THEIR page to tweet a message of your own.  You can change their wording slightly to something more palatable. 

Here’s their tweet:

I urge you to support H.R. 707 to protect families like mine. This is about family rights. #stopnetgambling

Here’s mine:

I urge you to oppose H.R. 707. It does NOTHING to protect families like mine. This is about states’ rights. #OKnetgambling

Fun.  Oh, and be advised that some of the Twitter links open Facebook accounts and vise versa.  What, you expected these techno-illiterate clowns to get it right? Also fun is this – I really didn’t want to s***-can the album cover (some of my best work) and when someone mentioned “song parody” earlier today, well…I could hear Mr. Adelson belting out this classic. More slightly switching words, and voila!  Song parody.  Enjoy.

"The Sound Of Sheldon"

Hello Jason, my old friend,
I've come to give you dough again,
Because my vision is creepy,
We’ll try to pass my bill when they are sleepy,
And the money that was handed to your campaign
Still remains
Within my bank of money.

In restless dreams I walked with foes
Passing by the DC ho’s,
'Neath the halo of the street lamps,
I turned my nose up to the public tramps
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a modem light
That isn’t right…
It wants my bank of money.

And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand people, maybe more.
People playing games with a mouse,
People gambling and not losing their house,
People safe and legal with regulation
What consternation!
It could take my bank of money.

"Fools," said I, "You do not know –
Online gambling really blows.
Hear my words that I might teach you.
Believe my lies that I might fool you."
But my words like Lindsey’s emails fell,
Oh hell.

There goes my bank of money.

And the people smiled and played
With the Internet god they made.
And the sign flashed out its warning
In the words that it was forming.
And the sign said, “The words of the prophets are written on PokerStars.”
I’d come this far,

And now I have no money.